Monthly Archives: July 2014

Would You Take Away My Hopes and Dreams and Just Stay With Me?

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What’s The Worst Breakup You’ve Ever Heard? (Part 2)

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Check out Part 1 of “What’s The Worst Breakup You’ve Ever Heard?”

1)      “Proximity Breeds Likeness” – The Convenient Kind Of Love

BACKSTORY:

Gail had this long relationship with her ex-boyfriend Ben. They were a cute couple to be honest – filled with youth, innocent, free, and basically everything you’d want in a young relationship. However, as in all relationships, the realities of life got to them one way or another. They met in a school organization and it could have been a fairy tale ending.

Maybe it was all too good to be true. Gail went on to Med School and Ben became an elementary school teacher after graduation. However, things got rocky from there. Gail heard rumors that Ben was seeing another girl from their organization back in school. Ben eventually assumed that Gail was always busy studying for med school. Too busy, too preoccupied, too not involved in each other’s lives were a recipe for disaster. As they fought over jealousy and lack of trust, it was clear where they were headed. But through it all, Gail remained persistent and kept the faith.

THE HOW:

Then like an unexpected train, Gail was hit with a breakup letter from Ben… in PDF format. I know, I know… what the eff right?! Talk about breakup for the new age. PDF?! You would think that a text or an email is bad, but in PDF? This is a whole new ball game. Plus this is the first time I’ve ever heard someone breakup in this particular way.

Anyway, in that ill-forsaken letter, Ben didn’t even clearly state it was a downright breakup. (I mean, if you were Gail, you wouldn’t think he’d actually breakup via PDF right? Right?!) After a hideous phone conversation to clear things up (even the breakup was over the freakin’ phone. Comown kids!), they were done. Kaput. One more time: PDF??!!

THE TIMING:

The funny thing about the timing is that it came so unexpected. Well, for Gail at least. She merely thought they were going through a rough patch and it’s just something they can work on. The Timing might not actually be a total HOF material in terms of breakup stories but The How was crazy and The Aftermath was like a scene from a bad teenage love story.

THE AFTERMATH:

Now, you would think that they probably broke up from a) the busy-ness of med school or b) the “other girl” from their org or c) just your run of the mill breakup. But lo and behold, about just a month after their breakup, Gail found out that Ben was rumored to have another girl in the mix aside from that other girl from their organization. So technically there were two other girls involved? Man oh man.

Of course, I mostly heard Gail’s side of it. But then again, on paper, it really looked that bad. Maybe it was a love of the easy kind – the kind when the going gets tough, you get going also. Who knows? Maybe the difficult schedule and the adjustments after graduation took its toll on the two. I’m not saying it was all Ben’s fault though. I’m sure there were other circumstances that led to the relationship’s demise. What’s sad though is that Ben immediately went out with another girl. Even though it was only rumored that Ben was already dating someone new when he was still with Gail, it still looked ugly because he hooked up right after they broke up. How soon you asked? Less than a month man. And another thing, Ben is currently dating a co-teacher. Well, proximity does breed likeness. Two teachers, one school, same schedule and all that, this could be a damn fairy tale then. Maybe he was thinking, “Why waste my efforts in someone who’s always busy in med school, when I can date someone within my workplace?” Maybe that was what he was thinking, then again maybe not. For all we know, it’s “true love” and all that crap.

I really saw how Gail managed (or somehow managed or somehow still managing) to fight through the pain. It was as if her emotions were exploding out of the computer screen and into my heart. The tough part is that she honestly still loves the damn fool.

Ah, the best parts of falling in love young is that very fact that you are young. Innocent, free, and more often than not, you’re not skeptical about relationships.

The story is in the Hall of Fame of breakups because of the damn PDF breakup, and the aftermath of finding out that there were possibly two other girls in the mix. Yikes.

2)      Cheating

Story number two is basically about someone cheating. Breaking up because of a cheating incident automatically gets you into the Hall of Fame nominees.

BACKSTORY:

They warned Patrick that Maria was a bad apple. She had a reputation of being promiscuous and well, being a total flirt and a bitch. (Okay I added that last part). But despite the warnings, Patrick didn’t mind all that and still tried to make the relationship work.

THE HOW AND THE TIMING:

The How is obviously the cheating part but what makes things worse is that they broke up on their monthsary. TALK ABOUT TIMING. I’m not sure if the cheating part happened on the day itself, but I think Patrick found out on that today. In any case, Maria probably cheated the day before or on the weekend of their monthsary. It’s like she grabbed his heart, threw it on the ground, and stepped on it repeatedly without remorse. OUCH. Happy Monthsary bitches! 

And oh by the way, before all this cheating business, Patrick was the team captain of a varsity team. He was good man really. A leader in every way you. And then shit got real. He was removed from the varsity team because his grades weren’t high enough. He got suspended by the school in almost the same week as he got his heart broken by Maria. It’s like the two things he loved the most just vaporized into thin air. He was practically left with nothing.

THE AFTERMATH:

There was a point when Patrick still wanted to be with Maria even after the cheating. He really loved the girl, and sadly, I don’t think that could be said for Maria. He was even willing to forgive, to forget, and to make the stupid relationship work. Fortunately after a bumps on the head, he decided that it was stupid to go back with her. No communication, no late phone calls or messages, no nothing. I don’t even think Maria gave a sincere apology. Even when Patrick got sick and went to the hospital about a week later, he didn’t hear a word from Maria. Well, maybe it was all for the best. The no communication really helped Patrick rearrange his life and look things at a different perspective.

 

It breaks my heart to hear these stories. I mean, no person should go through this. Again, I’m not saying I was a perfect guy. I’ve had my share of “What were you thinking?!” kind of decisions when I was in a relationship. I know I’ve hurt people. I’m glad though that I realized my mistakes and I took the time to be really, and I mean really, feel guilty about them. I don’t think we intentionally hurt people, but sometimes our decisions have repercussions to others whether we know it affects them or not.

I have one more story to share in Part 3. I think the last one should be part of your all time WTH breakup stories.

 

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What’s The Worst Breakup You’ve Ever Heard? (Part 1)

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I guess we all have a love story. Or in some cases, love stories. Some were good, some were bad, and some stories are still ongoing, while some ended too soon. There are some stories we’re able to look back to. These are the ones we can effortlessly flip through its pages with eyes of acceptance and understanding. More of often than not these are the love stories that eventually become stories about friendship.

However, before the understanding, acceptance, and even the friendship, there is also the sorrow, the loneliness, the chest-clinching, body-squirming, tear-streaming, downright “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PAIN?!” feeling that you probable felt before. If you haven’t felt any of these emotions, good for you and shut up about your perfect little life. Haha. Okay I’ll stop with the bitterness. From fleeting memories and haunting dreams, we toss and turn trying to understand the reality of the one we loved is now gone. It’s a rollercoaster type of emotions and someone forgot to place the seatbelts. It’s one effed up ride man. The feeling of loneliness and pain from the loss of love are just some of the things that make us… human. If you have ever experienced any kind of loss, ESPECIALLY through a breakup (not including death), to you my dear friend, I give a solemn salute.

But now, we are to talk about the worst breakups that I have ever heard. We’re not going to talk about my breakups (Okay maybe I’ll slip in a couple of stories here and there), but from the people who entrusted their story to me. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been conversing with a couple of my friends. I’m not sure how, but I’ve slowly become a “counselor” to them, and of course I gave my own realizations here and there. Take note of the quotations on the counselor. I’m still working on to be a licensed psychologist. I’ll get there someday.

Anyway, through the numerous people I’ve talked to, I’ve narrowed them down to my top breakup stories. Call it my Hall of Fame of Breakups if you will.  Though people talking to me isn’t purely about love or the lack thereof, I mean they also talk to me about other stuff like sports, work, school, and other mumbo jumbo. But there’s something about a love story right? Or how about a love story that’s gone sour? People tend to be more open and real when they talk about matters of the heart.

For purposes of anonymity, I shall keep the names of the people secret. My friends don’t read my blog nowadays so that’s a good thing, but just in case they happen to stumble along this, it’s best to keep their story, their own.

By the looks of it, this topic will serve about 3 parts. This first is one is basically the introduction and the criteria of basing the Hall of Fame of breakups. In my opinion, they should be assessed over three things – The How, The Timing, and The Aftermath.

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The Criteria:

The HOW:

What was the method of killing? And yes, I’m using “killing” as my choice of verb. How did that person end things with you? Was it a straight away shot to the heart? Or a slow and poisonous death? The How is important because even though there are tons of people who’ve experienced a breakup but there are also the not so fortunate souls who underwent some serious heart surgery after an awful parting.

The TIMING:

Though timing is often irrelevant just because of the fact that a breakup is ALWAYS bad timing, the extra occasion behind the breakup can also be heart wrenching. Did you breakup on your anniversary? On her birthday? Like in the middle of the afternoon right before a big company meeting?

The AFTERMATH:

As in every breakup, the aftermath has its own story or drama. Those awkward conversations, the feeling of the person not replying, being “seen-zoned,” you not knowing who wants to be friends, all that crap, and the dreaded is-he/she-over-me-now? are all part of the aftermath. It’s an ugly process.

As you dive along with me in these stories, I hope you keep one thing in mind: DO NOT DO THESE BREAKUPS. EVER. That being said, I am not perfect. I too have been at fault for being an a-hole. I break hearts as much as people break mine. But for what’s it worth, I know the pain. Trust me on this one. As much as I am afraid of getting hurt by someone, I am more terrified with me hurting that someone.

Again, heartache and pain are just some of the things that make us incredibly alive and human.

Part 2 will be up soon!

 

 

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