How Much Should You Depend On Others?



In a couple of entries back, I’ve touched on the subject of people helping you reaching your goals. Furthermore, I’ve emphasized that your dreams matter to others. Believe it or not, your way of living and you reach your goals have an indirect on other people as they see your life. When you are fortunate enough, you get to inspire others.

But what if you don’t get the support? What if you don’t get the encouragement that you need?

I’ve slowly realized that there’s a very fine line between how you desire the need of affirmation and encouragement from other people versus listening to your inner fire that’s dwelling inside you. As much as we are social beings, we are singular entities traveling in this vast world.

It’s difficult when the people we expect to be the ones who encourage us don’t really… well, encourage us. Maybe you get disappointed with your spouse, your parents, your friends or whoever. At the end of the day, some people won’t believe in you. It’s just the way it is.

And in that moment of brief realization, that’s when you look not towards other people, but into your own soul. As there are other people telling you to do this or that, the voices within you have to be heard. Well, as long as they’re positive voices. The truth is, your inner drive can also be a speed bump to where you want to go. In most cases, we have to dig deeeeeep.

Recently, I got inspired to focus on myself after a series of self-defeating moments. For my own sanity, I had to dig deep. I searched for my gut who was wallowing in regret and looked into my heart who was looking in the past. I read a blog entry of my close friend Agnes who recently underwent her own realizations. If anyone’s interested, take a look at her blog – 🙂

Here’s an excerpt from her essay:

“I want you to know , that YOU and YOU ALONE are the driver of your own life. So you’re not happy? Do something about it. In a moment of weakness, someone can tell you something that will break your spirit. THEY CAN SAY ANYTHING TO CRUSH YOU AND IT’S OKAY TO GET CRUSHED BUT STAND UP. Don’t allow it to eat you alive.”

Though strangely I was inspired by a friend, it was a gentle reminder to fan the inner flames within myself.

You have to turn on your “Eff You Mode” and stop taking crap from other people and even from your evil self locked in the depths of your soul. So what if your parents don’t really understand what you’re doing? So what if you’re friends aren’t there for you when you need them the most? So what if all the things you once held dear went up in flames like a nuclear explosion? Eff. Freakin’. You.

When no ones watching or no ones listening, dream bigger. When you’re already tired, work harder. When no one’s giving you the right motivation, eliminate the fears. Yes, there is a need to be affirmed by others, but when it comes down to it, you have to listen to yourself. Believe in yourself. This is a bit cheesy and a common cliché but hey, clichés are clichés for a reason. Believe in yourself.

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