Monthly Archives: February 2014

How Do You Know When You’re Not Settling?

Here are two scenarios:

Scenario #1 – Let’s say you’re in a group of friends resembles that of Sex and The City. All girls – some are single, some maybe married, some with a boyfriend or who knows, even a girlfriend. The ages of the group can be in the mid 20’s or mid 30’s depending on which age group resembles more in your life. Now let’s narrow down the situation. In a group of five, the cosmos aligned and somehow everyone in the group gets married or at least get engaged and you’re the only one who’s not. To make matters worse, you’re as single as you can possibly with no boyfriend and no prospect in sight. Will you marry the first guy you meet out of “peer pressure?”

Scenario #2 – You’re in a current relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You’ve been together since college or a minimum of at least five years. You get the feeling he’s going to propose any time soon but somehow you’re scared if he asks. Your career is growing and you have the whole world ahead of you. When it comes to your boyfriend, you’re still in love with him. Nothing seems to be wrong about him and the relationship has been going on somewhat smoothly. You’re not unfaithful and besides, there aren’t really prospects running around to date you. But you’re scared if he suddenly drops to one knee and hands you a ring.

*****

When I asked my friends Cole and Bianca if they had a Pending Question about love, they both threw the question “How do you know when you’re not settling?” at me. First I thought this would be an interesting question to tackle but then I started to answer it on my own, I couldn’t quite I understand it. I asked them what they meant and they both gave various answers. The overall feeling however was that there was the uncertainty of choosing to settle down because of well, you’re settling for that person. Whether it’s by choice, circumstance, or even lack of options, some people may have married someone because they’re settling. Of course, I doubt that those same people would admit that they are settling.

Look at the two scenarios above. The first deals with peer pressure. If you can relate to that situation, you have probably felt out of place or like an extreme version of a 3rd wheel when you all go out. For women, the pressure not only comes from friends but on their own biological clock. They want to get married at a certain age if everything is set up – career, home, dreams, and the right time to have kids. More often than not, timing is everything. That’s why it gets tricky when you get to a certain age and you’re not married yet.

In the second situation, this works for men and women in any relationship. Some relationships seem to last longer than the others but maybe that’s just because they’re simply lasting. Maybe you still have unfulfilled dreams yet to achieve and you feel that marriage will bring you down. Worse, you may feel that your partner isn’t the “one.”

So what then is the solution? Is there even one?

Cole gave me an interesting answer to her interesting question.

“You know you’re not settling when there’s no fear.”

Again, I didn’t really know what she meant. She tried to explain it took a while for me to munch it down and understand it. If you don’t have that fear with the person you’re with, I guess you do know that things will be okay and not settling. Maybe I’m not in that point yet but I think I will truly understand it one day.

Couples don’t often think about “settling for a person” and rarely do they even admit it, but settling down in marriage doesn’t mean you have to settle with a person. If it’s true love, then you can go at it. Like all other decisions, being with someone shouldn’t be clouded by circumstance, pressure, and fear. When you’ve got everything figured out and someone asks you to marry him or her, you can honestly say “absofuckinglutely!” ala Mr. Big.

 

 

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Can Love Reveal Itself In Dreams?

to-share-your-dreams-with

 

Love and Dreams don’t often come together. In fact, they rarely do. Even if you do dream about your lover, ex, future husband/wife, there’s no confirmation and you’re just left with assumptions. The mind just plays tricks on you and you’re there lying in your bed wondering what it all meant. It’s tricky, unreliable, and frustrating.

I never thought that relationships could reveal itself in any other situation other than facing that person face to face let alone through dreams. I mean, I’ve dreamed about myself, my friends, even my exes, but they hardly brought any meaning. If anything, they confused me even more.

The story I’m about to share is apparently a true one as told by my friend Bianca. I can’t remember all the details, just the important ones, heck, I don’t even remember what we were talking about before she got into the story.

So it goes like this:

A Boy and a Girl were in love.

Tragically, the Girl and her family were killed leaving the Boy utterly devastated.

The Boy met a new girl but was hesitant in diving in deeper into the relationship because he didn’t know what his old Girl would say.

Now the tricky part, the dream.

One night, the Boy dreamed about his Girl. He saw that she was holding his hand and somehow carrying it into someone else’s hand. He didn’t see who was the person in front of her but he just knows that his Girl gave his hand to someone else. The Boy told his dream to his current girlfriend. Surprisingly, his new girl also had a dream.

In her dream, he saw the Boy’s hand being given to him from somebody. She wasn’t able to see who was with his Boy but they were able to hold each other’s hand because of that somebody.

You can probably put the pieces together right? I don’t even have to say what it all meant. If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. That was freaky and pretty amazing. I wish I could have one of these dreams though. Recently I’ve been dreaming a lot and I even dreamt about two separate dreams in one night but never like the story above. The ones I have about love… love for food and sports. Not exactly romantic but hey I’ll take it.

 

 

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How Do You Approach Valentine’s Day?

istockphoto_10272324-valentine-s-day-kid-lovers-with-heart-cartoon

 

Valentine’s Day has always brought about different reactions from people all over the globe. Though there is a significant line that divides the single people and the people who actually have a date on V-day, this line does get more complicated if you take a closer look.

The young people are the ones that commonly celebrate Valentine’s Day. Budding lovers from teenagers to young adults, touch into their inner sweet side and give gifts, flowers, love letters, and whatnot. Random fact: In the United States, Americans spend nearly FIFTEEN billion dollars on Valentine’s Day, one billion cards will be sent out (which is second only to Christmas), 20% of women will send roses to themselves, 3% of you will send something to their pets.

But what if you’re the type of girl who doesn’t like all the mushy stuff? What if you’re the guy who just won’t bend down to the world and even call all the celebrations a shenanigan? What if your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t celebrate this day and you’re the only one who’s really into it? What if you’re the couple who thinks going out just for the sake of Valentine’s is such a drag?

Valentine’s Day is also celebrated by married couples and maybe even older ones like our grandparents. On paper, married couples should be a testament of love as marriage is the ultimate symbol of the union of two souls. They should be a symbol for all young people that true love does exist. Married couples are an inspiration, our hope, our future, our…. Okay I’ll stop. Who am I kidding? Nowadays married couples have probably about 1/5 chances of lasting and those who do last, are they even really happy? How do married men and married women see Valentine’s Day? Isn’t it still kinda sweet when we see old people hold hands? But what if we also see a businessman out on a V-day but clearly is with his hot young mistress and not his wife? What if you’re watch salesman and you just sold a $300 watch to a woman who says she’s giving it to her other lover?

Single people I believe have more complications than those who have a significant other. How do you see Valentine’s Day if you’ve been single you’re whole life? What if you’ve been searching for someone for so long? What if you just recently broken up with someone? Are you bitter as hell? What if you’re afraid to give a gift to your friend thus rocking the boat on your friendship while trying to rise from the friendzone? What if you just simply don’t care what day it is?

Whether you care or not, whether you celebrate the day or don’t, fact of the matter is, it’s still in the calendar. The magnitude of the holiday transcends all feelings – good or bad, which affects people one way or another.

What got me thinking however is what would St. Valentine feel if he saw all the Valentine hoopla today? Would he approve of it? Would he scoff at what society has made the holiday to be? Would he be surprised at the attention it gets every year? Is this what he intended love to be?

There are different but still related accounts pointing to the history of Valentine’s Day. Centuries ago, it was a Roman festival celebrated by the people. They’d first celebrate the feast of Juno wherein women put their names inside a jar and random boys will pick the names up. They then pin the names on themselves (which brought the term “putting your heart on your sleeve”) and find the girl that matches the name. The boy and the girl would hang out for a week to celebrate the feast of Lupercalia. In most cases, the couples would get married after. Seems like a pretty cool set up right? It’s like a different case of arranged marriage.

So how does St. Valentine come in?

hith-valentine

The emperor at that time (I think it was Claudius) didn’t like the idea of people getting married left and right. Primarily because his soldiers started to fall in love and get married and they chose to just stay at home with their wives rather than go into battle. That couldn’t be good for an empire right? So the emperor banned marriages altogether. However, a guy named Valentine believed in love. A pastor at that time, Valentine would marry people secretly. He would whisper the vows for young couples so that marriages could still happen. Unfortunately, he got caught and was sent to prison. There at prison he met the daughter of the jailer whom he fell in love with. On the day he was supposed to be executed he wrote a letter to his lover ending with the words “your Valentine.”

During the 5th century, the Church thought about a way to redefine love in terms of Christianity. They chose Valentine. They wanted to redefine the feast of Lupercalia and represent what love truly is. Though it’s a farfetched version of what Christ did on the cross, maybe they simply wanted people to believe that a man can display love in its purest form. Against an emperor who wanted to abolish the union of two people, he pressed on and made sure that couples would be together despite the fear of being caught. Also in the most dangerous circumstances, he found love in prison of all places. He believed in the power of love and what it could do to people. He died single and had no children but that didn’t stop him from believing in love, sharing it with others, finding someone to be with, and finally risking for love despite getting his head chopped off.

[Random fact: There are about a dozen or more saints named Valentine plus a pope! The one I’m talking about is St. Valentine of Rome. However, there are still several slightly varied accounts of him. I chose to stick with this version in any case.]

Maybe St. Valentine didn’t intend for a holiday. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking of that when he was in prison. He simply believed in love – love for another person, love for a wife, and love for what he believed to be pure and true. He believed in a love that encompasses all and precedes all.

We all have our own expectations or apprehensions towards Valentine’s Day. In one way or another, we’ve experienced love in its various forms. We may have experienced love and also the inevitable heartaches that come with it. It can be as simple and heartwarming as being a young boy and giving a flower to your crush or as extreme and saddening as a husband leaving his wife. For whatever your feelings may be, for whatever situation you are in right now, single or married, in a relationship or not, heartbroken or not, I genuinely hope we all find a love that surpasses anything and worth risking everything just like St. Valentine’s.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

 

(This serves as my Valentine’s post plus my entry to a Writing Challenge here at WordPress: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/10/writing-challenge-valentine/)

 

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What’s The Worst Date You’ve Ever Been To?

For at least once in our lifetime, we’ve all probably had one awful date. You may remember all the good dates you had, but I bet there’s one date that you just wish you’d forget. Single or married, boy or girl, we’ve all been to at least one date that’s in the top 5 worst relationship moments ever.

I don’t really like telling a lot of my own personal experiences but I think this one I had to share. Besides, if I can see the comedic side of the awful date, it wouldn’t hurt to share it here right?

A couple of weeks ago my old college friend asked me to go on a blind date. It wasn’t even his direct friend but his girlfriend’s friend. It was a bit of a long connection and he only met the girl he was trying to set me up with once. Though it probably seemed like a good opportunity, I honestly didn’t want to go through with it. In fact, I hated the idea. For one, I wasn’t looking for a date, let alone a blind one. Second, I already experienced a blind date before and I was fortunate enough that things worked out tremendously great with that person because of that one date. Blind dates have a one and bajillion chance of actually making something out of it. I was fortunate enough to experience that. Third, I wasn’t really up for it. The idea of going out on a date just seemed… tiresome to be honest. You say hi and hello, talk about this and that, and just looking ahead on those random conversation seemed stressful for me. To be honest, I didn’t want to waste the time of the girl. I didn’t know who she was and had no clue what were her expectations from a random date.

After much convincing from my friend, I finally agreed to have this date. I had nothing to lose and besides, it’s just one date anyway. I can meet up with this girl have a nice sweet conversation and probably never see her again. It will be a nice dinner with a potential friend. With days leading up to this blind date, my friend even had to remind me of the time and place. It wasn’t in my mind and I was too preoccupied with the work I had to do. Nonetheless, I cleared up my schedule and just said “screw it, I had nothing to lose.”

After all the planning and the emotions that were brewing inside me, the girl didn’t show up. I was at the place  and waited, and waited, and waited. But it was a no-show friends.

Yep, abort mission.

She said she was stuck in a meeting. I said no rush and I could wait. An hour passed and I knew where this was headed. I messaged her we could reschedule (well, not really) and she shouldn’t pressure herself if she couldn’t make it. Maybe she was stuck in a meeting. Maybe she just didn’t want to meet up. Who knows, and frankly, who cares. I know I don’t.

I still haven’t eaten dinner at that point so I had to eat, unfortunately, I couldn’t bring myself to any restaurant within the area because everyone was out with a date or with their friends and a loser like me just didn’t feel like eating alone in any of those high-class restaurants. Fortunately, I found a Mc Donald’s near by and helped myself to a big ass burger, fries, and drink. Nothing beats that on wasteful lonely night. I was angry, pissed, and felt utterly stupid. I thought of getting angry at the girl but maybe she did have a meeting. I thought of getting mad at my friend but that wouldn’t be fair too. I guess I was just mad at the situation. I messaged my friends and found solace in them. (I have a group of friends which consists of five girls which makes me look like either gay or their pimp, fortunately I’m neither) They felt bad for me and they said a ton of profanities against the girl (I can’t type them here, but let’s just say one curse word started with the letter “b” and rhymed with hitch). Well, that felt good at least.

I guess you can tell me I had it coming. I didn’t even want to have a date so I didn’t have one. I was too preoccupied and was even feeling lazy coming in to the date so nothing happened. At the same time, here I was making the effort even though I didn’t really want it, and my effort was gobbled up and thrown in the trash. Ugh.

The only good thing that came of this night was when I bumped in to an old friend from work. Well, she wasn’t really an officemate but our brand used to support her magazine and events. We did a bit of random small talk and I told her I’m in to writing now. It was fun catching up to an old acquaintance and I might get a chance to write for her magazine soon so that’s great!

Overall, I felt pretty good about that night. It sucks that I had no date but it’s nice to my friends always have my back. I also got a potential writing gig so the night wasn’t a total waste. When I convinced myself that it was still a good night, a couple of days later I got to talk to my friend Chi.

“Oh what time were you there? You should have told me! I was in the area.” She said.

“Really? Too bad we didn’t meet up!” I replied.

“You know where we went? There was an all dessert exhibit/festival at the mall. There were about 40 stalls with different desserts all for free! You could have gone with us and had an awesome time for free! They had the best desserts!!!!”

Then she showed me a picture of a gorgeous dessert.

Damn. 40 stalls of desserts.

Yep, it was the worst date by far.

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Are You For “Same Love?”

macklemore tegan saraMacklemore and Ryan Lewis performing “Same Love” with special guests Tegan and Sara at Osheaga Music Festival in Montreal. (Image from http://www.instinctmagazine.com)

 

Since we are in the talking of love this month, I’ve thought about the different kinds of love – love between married couples, puppy love, love or passion for the things you want to do, love in a religious standpoint, and lastly love for the same sex. I was hesitant at first to tackle such a complex and sensitive issue of love for the same sex but a big part of me wants to know and understand this kind of love.

Same sex relationships are still frowned upon for the most part of the world. In recent years, laws have been made to legalize gay marriages particularly in the United States, but there are still a number of locations where it is prohibited. In most countries like the Philippines, there are no specific laws with regards to boys marrying boys or girls marrying girls. There is however, the stand of the Church passionately rising up against the cultural wave of marrying the same gender. As the debate continues between accepting this kind of relationship or not, lines have been drawn whether or not people should support it. It’s such a sensitive issue because choosing either one will raise eyebrows and people will automatically judge you. Gender has become an important sociological issue together with racism.

I’ve been trying to be a Christian for most of my life and Church has told me different things with regards how to react to this social phenomenon. It was until I read the Bible for myself when I saw God’s own response. It’s in my understanding that He doesn’t approve it. That being said, He also stresses to love another despite the differences. What my issue is that a lot of people focus on the negative side versus homosexuals that they breed so much hate towards them. Even though it is supposedly against the law of nature of loving your own gender, the universal law of love should play a bigger role. How can you say you’re a loving person if you hate a person who just happens to love somebody else with the same gender?

On a personal note, I have really close friends who happen to be gay and lesbians. I’ve never taken it against them for being who they are but I was always curious what led them to be who they are and what will they do in the future. How do their parents react? Do other people scorn them? What’s next, do they get married? And even, what’s the sex like? The questions seem intrusive, I know, but I mean it in all curiosity and I really genuinely care for them. I don’t have anything against them because in world where the world “love” is thrown around like it doesn’t mean anything, somehow this kind of love tries hard to push down barriers. I’m not saying it’s a perfect kind of love but it is love in all sense of the word. Gay couples still argue, fight, hold hands, watch movies, spend time together, etc. As comedian Chris Rock puts it: “What’s wrong with gay marriage? Gay people have the right to be miserable as much as we are!”

Is being gay a choice? Is it something biological? Is it brought about by circumstance? Is it from sexual abuse at a young age? I have no idea honestly but what about lack of options? I mean what if a guy ends up being with another guy because no other girl would love him? If no girl loves him, is it so wrong to be with a guy who does love him? I mean, aren’t we all looking for love? I have a friend who’s a lesbian who told me, “What can I do? I’ve been praying for a man to come into my life for the last 20 years of my life but all I can find is girls. And you know what, they love me back.” How can I argue that? In some way I’m happy for my friend because at least she’s not lonely. On the other hand I’m concerned with her. We essentially grew up together as teenagers and as young adults. I’m afraid if her parents find out or worse what if something happens with her sexual relations with the same sex? Random fact: HIV and AIDS grew more than 10% the past year in the Philippines because of same sex relations and multiple sex partners. You see even though I understand people in their preference of gender, I still fear for them because of society’s perception and of course, their health.

When it comes down to it, you could say that I don’t support gay relationships although I don’t forcefully oppose it either. What I can say is that I understand it. At the end of the day we should love anyone and from all walks of life. If you even want to go Biblical in this issue, let’s take a quick look at the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Everyone knows that God was displeased with their behavior and the cities were punished. The age-old story has been told countless times and even used in our language today as in the English world sodomy. Religious scholars quickly point out that homosexuality was the main reason God destroyed the cities, but among all the wrong things they committed, did you also know that another thing was pointed out? In Ezekiel 16:49-50 it says “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me…” Did God like the homosexual activities by the people? Of course not! But he still didn’t like how the people were living for themselves. They did not care about other people but only cared about themselves. (Much like what’s going on with society today) They were arrogant, unconcerned, and they didn’t help the poor! They didn’t care about anyone else but more concerned about solving their own issues because of their arrogance. It goes back to His commandment of loving people. People can oppose gays and lesbians but to hate them? To show contempt and not compassion? To show arrogance and not understanding? I can tell you right now that if Jesus were alive today, he’d be hanging out with gays and lesbians because He loves them too.

At the end, we’re all fighting for that same love.

 

 

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Is Love Enough?

Claudia: When I was a little girl, I used to say to her, “I love you to the moon and down again and around the world and back again.” And she used to say to me, “I love you to the sun and down again and around the stars and back again.” Do you remember, mama? And I used to think, wow, I love mama, and mama loves me, and what can go wrong? [pause] What went wrong, mama? I love you and you love me, and what went wrong? You see, I know she loves me, and I love her, and–so what? So what? She’s over there, and I’m over here, and she hates me because of the things I’ve done to her, and I hate her because of the things she’s done to me. You stand up there asking “Do you love your daughter” and they say yes. And you think you’ve asked something real, and they think they’ve said something real. You think because you toss the word love around like a frisbee we’re all going to get warm and runny. No. Something happens to some people. They love you so much they stop noticing you’re there because they’re so busy loving you. They love you so much their love is a gun, and they keep firing it straight into your head. They love you so much you go right into a hospital. Yes, I know she loves me. Mama, I know you love me. And I know one thing you learn when you grow up is that love is not enough. It’s too much and not enough.

– From the play Nuts by Tom Topor

Honestly, I don’t know if love is truly enough. On the other hand, what if we love too much that we end up ignoring the people we love the most? We love our wives, husbands, daughter, son, cousin, boyfriend, girlfriend, grandfather, friend, and so on and so forth. But it’s the people really closest to us when we have to ask ourselves if loving someone is enough. If love truly is the most important thing in the world, then why do people still fight? Why do breakups happen? Why are divorces more common today? Why do we see kids hating their parents? You love him and he loves you. What’s the problem? Can love alone stand and make a relationship work?

A part of me says no, it absolutely doesn’t. Love can’t do it alone. A couple of years ago I made this realization and a friend even agreed with me but what we couldn’t decipher was that if love wasn’t enough, what was missing?

What if it’s not a lack of love, but the opposite wherein you love the person too much? But… can too much love be a bad thing? They say love is all you need but can you really have too much of love? At first, I found it blasphemous to say that a person can love too much. Then I realized that parents for example could fall victim to this trap. I know parents only want to give the best to their children but it can be too much sometimes. This is not just being overprotective or sheltering your kids, I think it’s something more and deeper.

So what then?

Is it the lack of love or is too much love that’s killing us? So should there be a “perfect balance” of loving someone? I’m not talking about you loving your partner and you still having your own little thing. This is not just about you letting your girlfriend have a girl’s night out and you can just spend time alone on another time. Again it’s deeper and even more profound. We’ve all felt this sort of imbalance of love one way or another – with our parents, kids, spouses, girlfriend, boyfriend, or whoever. It’s so quizzical and frustrating to not know the answer.

What’s even more frustrating is when we really love someone that we can’t know what the other person is feeling. You can be giving the right amount of love in your mind but the other person might not be feeling enough of that love. We give everything to the one we love and sometimes it’s not enough. More often than not, it’s never enough. Love is always a risk.

But we always choose to love. Always. We choose to love not knowing if it’s finally enough or too much. We love even if it hurts. We love even if it kills us. We love not merely because of the tingly feeling we get. We love not just because the other person might love us back. We even love all the more if that same person doesn’t love us back. We love through days, months, and even years. We love relentlessly and unselfishly. We love despite the uncertainty. We love because it’s the only way to live. We love in only a way we know how as individuals.

Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means your heart’s too big.” – Riding in Cars with Boys

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What Are The Different Types of Crushes?

We’re kicking of a series of love related essays for the next couple of weeks just because it’s February! As I try to dive into the daunting task of trying to answer love’s mischievous questions, feel free to comment or follow my blog! 🙂

To start things off, I’ll share with you guys my theory on the different types of crushes. I first developed this maybe around eight years ago and I first posted this on my livejournal blog (Yes I had a livejournal account before! Wohoo!). Of course eight long years have passed and I’ve taken the time to rehash my theory and share new developments. Here they are:

1)   THE KABOOM CRUSH

These are the ones who just pierce right into your superior vena cava. These are ones that when you first saw them you just stared as the world froze for a moment. The ones you keep thinking at the back of your head every single minute of every single day.  Every message, text, mail, notification, and even every word they say to you you’ll try to remember and save them. Everything about them you’ll want to know and cherish.  These are the ones that you’ll actually go for and would really want to be with. In other words, “kaboom” because he/she hit you and there’s a mushroom cloud that just exploded in your heart.

Good points: Close to love? Maybe. But you know, you at least have a shot with this person. This person can be your inspiration or motivation to do anything! You have something and someone to look forward to. Go for it!

Not-so good points: I guess the downside can be that you think about this person all the time. It may be to the point of irritation. What can be worse is that this “kaboom” crush can be already in a current relationship with someone else or worse, he/she turned you down despite you confessing your feelings. But don’t get down on your luck, it’s just a crush anyway.

2)   THE HAPPY CRUSH

These are those fleeting and spur of the moment types of crushes. You can have a long list of these and it won’t really matter. You can like them for one day, and not like them tomorrow. Infatuations and admirations can fall under this category too. They give you something to smile about. They can provide tiny cute kilig moments (sorry non-Filipino readers, there is no direct translation of this word in the English vocabulary. Time to use your context clues skills!) that’ll make your day.

Good points: Since it’s just a happy crush, you have the option to pursue this person or not. I mean, there’s no pressure. No problem with just looking right? You can still have a happy crush if you’re in a relationship. Plus, you can have a long list of these happy crushes.

Not-so good points: Hmmm maybe there’s not a solid negative with this type. The problem however is when you have tons of happy crushes but you never really do anything about them. You can’t complain being single and have a lot of happy crushes at the same time. You either go for it or you don’t.

3)   THE DENGUE FEVER CRUSH

It takes about two weeks after a mosquito bites you before the dengue fever hits. Of course, you’re not really sure when and where exactly the mosquito attacked but before you know it, you’re getting the chills and stuck in a hospital.

In the same way, there are people in your everyday life that you hardly notice but out of nowhere they become your crush. You know what I mean? You didn’t really expect it but here you are now trying to remedy yourself you sick love puppy!

Points to ponder: The thing about this type is that it’s all about timing. A week early or a week late can be the difference. A person might have a crush on you and you won’t even notice it and then the following week you’re the one who has the crush and the other person already has a date. A mosquito bite takes two weeks to incubate in your body before the fever strikes; crushes can have a shorter life span or a longer one.

4)   THE CELEBRITY CRUSH

We all have celebrity crushes. If you don’t, then the movie industry is not doing its job. Actors and actresses tickle our minds and hearts with their looks and sometimes we can’t help but be attracted to them. A celebrity crush will be of course, only a crush (not unless you’re also a celebrity or something). They are far from our reach and in all honesty, we don’t really want to be with them. We’re more than content to have them just a celebrity crush who tickles our fancies. In fact, I don’t think that we ever dream about having a shot at them. In the same way, there are people who we have a crush on that are not necessarily celebrities, but we just want to have a crush on. It’s like a version of the happy crush. It may be whoever – your boss, your friend’s hot mom, the register at your Starbucks, etc. I mean you won’t date your friend’s mom but she can be a crush right? Right? You won’t date her right?!

5)   THE AMERICA’S GOT TALENT CRUSH

Have you ever had a crush on an athlete? How about a musician? A writer? (wink wink) You can have a crush on someone mainly because of his or her talent. Because they seem so good with what they’re doing, their level of attractiveness increases. You don’t need to do a psychology to experiment to agree with me. Often times you can’t even explain it. Some of the crushes you have may not look attractive at all but somehow because they sing well, do magic tricks, speak in front of crowds, sound incredibly smart, play football well, or write well (here here!), or any other thing they might be good at, you feel the attraction. I remember back in college that I used to have this crush on one of the players of the women’s basketball of our school. She might not be the prettiest one on the team but she sure can play ball. She was a terrific defender and an instant scorer. I was just amazed with how she plays every time that I can’t help but be a fan.

6)   THE FOREVER CRUSH

The forever crush is the one you have with your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife. Of course one might start off as a kaboom crush but eventually the looks sort of fade away through time or because of the longevity of your relationship, a simple look doesn’t spark that same old feeling. In other words, this is the part after the honeymoon stage in the relationship has passed. In any case that person is still your crush right? Even years later you can still consider that person your number one and undisputed crush. Despite the time that has passed that person still holds a special place in your heart. This my friends can also be called love. In all essence, your forever crush is more often than not the love of your life.

 

We all have different types of crushes, some are small that we contain so that the world wouldn’t know and there are some that we just want to scream at the top of our lungs. Crushes can be tricky, annoying, tiring, enjoyable, and even joyful. A crush stays a crush until you make your move friend.

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