I’m sure that at least for once in your life, you’ve asked for a sign that will tell you to do this or do that. It doesn’t matter what religious background you have, I have a feeling that you asked this question to your god in one way or another. Heck, a religious background isn’t even required. You just hope that something, anything, will help you with your decision making.
Okay so maybe you do get a sign. Moreover, you convince yourself that this is the sign that you’re looking for. But what if you miss the point of the sign entirely? Decisions are usually made one way or the other and there’s hardly anything in between – either you’ll do the dishes or not, either you’ll read a book or watch TV, either you’ll do the job or not, and so on. So the margin of error is actually not that big if you think about it. On one hand, the sign that you’ve been looking for might be telling you one thing while it can also mean the other.
Recently, I spoke with a friend of mine, Mich, who happens to work in the company that I used to go to. After the usual hi’s and random small talk, she asks, “Di ka ba makiki chismis dito? Hahaha” (Aren’t you going to ask me about the gossip here?)
So she goes telling me about our other officemate who had issues in the office with regards to her work. Of course I can’t and I don’t want to explicitly share everything here but basically it involved our friend who was contemplating of resigning. It was essentially about quitting the job but somehow it also revolved around other branches of the company. It just got messy.
To make the long story short, when one of the bosses told her to make a final decision, to either be in a new position or not, she was faced with a cross road. She didn’t know what to do. She was looking for a sign.
[Enter footnote here: To give you a little background, Mich, myself and this girl that I’ve been talking about were pretty close when it came to work and even outside the four corners of our office. We’ve been through hellish times as well as hilarious moments, and of course we’ve thought about the future once we all get out of the company. We shared each other’s dreams and whatnot and we all thought it was time for us to move on. I was the first one to leave and then it became a rat race between them.]
In the end, she chose to stay and get the new position. When she decided to do that, you can imagine the exchanges between Mich and myself. “Whaaaat???!!!” was my general reaction. We were like two teenage girls ranting about our friend who made a bad decision (at least in our minds). Yes, it’s her life, and yes it’s her decision to make, but still, friends care deeply and we say the shit we think you deserve to hear.
In her defense, she said she looked for a sign and even prayed for it before making the final decision. Now, I’m in no way undermining the power of prayer and the God Almighty, but what if she got the message all wrong?
Maybe God is looking down from Heaven and He’s like scratching His head going “Whaaat?!” also. No one knows for sure but it’s funny if you think like that doesn’t it? Maybe God is saying to my friend, “I said reSIGN not SIGN a new contract!”
What’s even funnier is that the three of us already thought of this while we were all working. Sometimes we’d get into these conversations about where our lives were heading and thought God was totally going in the other direction. Concrete example was when I finally decided to resign. I always thought God put me through a series of tests in my job so that I could build perseverance and find refuge in Him. In many ways, yes, I believe he did put hardships at that point in my life to grow as a person. But when I flipped the switch and thought “What if He puts me through all this because He’s telling me to quit?” You know? Maybe the hardships weren’t a test of character, but they were telling me to get out of there and move on with my life! Of course I did grow through all the hardships but I also learned to move on.
Maybe the signs we’re looking for have always been in front of us and we’re just too blind to see them. The tricky thing about signs is that you’ll never know for sure. Maybe one decision will make you happier while another one can be disastrous. As I try to think of a moral or a lesson to wrap everything up, well, maybe there’s none. I can tell you to be more cautious but still, no one knows for sure what tomorrow will bring. Who wants to live cautiously anyway? Nonetheless, I still believe that there are signs that we get that will be crystal clear. You know what the scary thing is? It isn’t noticing a sign or even missing its point. What I’m worried about is when I get a sign that’s so sure and so clear that in no way is it just a coincidence. I think that I’ll be too afraid to choose what the sign tells me to do and even make excuses not do it. Maybe we don’t notice the signs or miss their messages completely because we already try to shield the hard decisions and only try to notice things what we want to notice. Get it? I think I thought about this too much. My head hurts. I think there was a point in this entry somewhere. I’m going to stop my rambling now and maybe just look for chismis and not signs.