I told myself the other night that if I had another weird dream I’d write about it. I’ve been having more strange dreams the past few nights but the last one was so real that it took me a few moments to realize that it was only a dream.
I was talking to a dear friend of mine whom I haven’t talked to for quite sometime. I don’t want to explicitly tell here what we were talking about but it was about picking up right where we left off the last time we spoke. It was fun, heartwarming, and with a hint of nostalgia like putting a cherry on top of a good ice cream. It felt so real to me in my thoughts unlike all other dreams I had recently wherein I knew that a dream was happening. Sometimes you just know when you’re dreaming right? It’s like you can think for your own while the dream is actually happening. This was different because I was engrossed in our conversation like the person was speaking to me in both heart and mind.
The clincher of the whole thing was the feeling I had when I eventually woke up. Like I said, it felt so real that when it stopped it took me a few seconds to collect myself and realize it was only a dream. The first thing that crossed my mind was “Damn it was only a dream?!” I wanted to give a massive F you to the dream gods because it played so much with my emotions.
Dreams are unfair because sometimes you can control what’s happening but on other times you just tag along for the ride. Things just make sense while you’re dreaming; though when you really thinking about it when you wake up, that made no sense at all. You can be dreaming about your old highschool which is now situated at a top of a hill in the dream and think that makes perfect sense but when you stop and think, why the heck is my highschool on top of a hill with a big old church right beside it? You have no control with what’s happening, you just accept it the way it is while you’re dreaming. Dreams permits the unconscious to wander around the thoughts or desires you may have that you don’t know while you’re conscious. You’re vulnerable to its traps and can let you feel what you don’t want to feel.
I felt angry and uneasy when I woke up not only because I thought it was real, but also because my conversation with my friend didn’t actually happen. In a way the dream sort of made sense because I haven’t talked to her for what seemed like a very long time and maybe the dream was telling me something. I also know that now that I am awake, I can’t just go ahead and talk to that person. It’s weird if I just randomly message her out of the blue. There are some friends you can tell random stuff, but you and I both know that there are others who will find it weird and maybe even intrusive if you tell them about it. Somehow there are restrictions that people build between them and that’s where I find the conflict. My unconscious probably wants to talk to her but my awake and conscious self prevents it because it’s not that simple. It felt perfect and right in the dream, but wrong and conflicting now that I’m awake.
If I have another weird and uncontrollable dream in the next few days, maybe I’ll look for a psychiatrist or something. Or maybe just write about it. This is one of those pending questions that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
What’s In A Dream (Part 1) can be found here – https://pendingquestions.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/whats-in-a-dream/